Leadership Challenge
Wiggle words can undercut our key message, confuse our audience, and undermine our executive presence. We might use these words out of habit, or to soften a tough message, or because we are not feeling confident. Direct communication is a leadership power tool. Speaking clearly, without hidden meaning or mixed messages, is a gift to the person on the other side of the dialogue.
Fifteen Words to Avoid
Leadership Language: Think Twice Before Using these Words and Phrases *
| Word/Phrase | Impact |
| Just | Reduces impact |
| Kind of | Reduces impact |
| Sort of | Reduces impact |
| A little | Reduces impact |
| Maybe | Reduces impact |
| Some | Reduces impact |
| I think | Reduces impact |
| Try | Sets up possibility of failure |
| Make an attempt | Sets up possibility of failure |
| Should | Denotes shame, influenced from outside |
| Have to | Denotes shame, influenced from outside |
| Supposed to | Denotes shame, influenced from outside |
| But | Negates words before but, minimizes words after |
| Probably | Weak, unclear |
| I guess | Weak, unclear, disempowering |
Beyond these words, beware of verbal tics. Avoid filler noises and phrases such as “ummm” and “you know” when you speak. And when you are making a statement, make sure your vocal inflection does not rise to sound like a question.
Three Steps to Make Progress in One Week:
- OBSERVE – Some practical options to observe:
- Record and Review. Record a few of your work zoom meetings or presentations. Review the chart above and count the number of times you use each word in the chart. Note which words get the most marks.
- Enlist a Friend. Before you attend your next meeting, ask a colleague you trust who will also be attending to note if you use any of these words. Note which words your friend says you use.
- Look and Catch. Keep the list nearby your workspace and look at it throughout the day. Note which of these words you use and try to catch yourself in the act of saying any of these words.
What action will you take this week to observe which of the above words you use?
2. REFLECT – For those words you want to stop using, take a few minutes to answer these questions:
- Is that word(s) just a habit? (For more info on how to change a habit, see the work of James Clear)
- Is that word(s) a function of you lacking confidence, feeling intimidated, or having “Imposter Syndrome”?
- Is that word(s) a way to avoid conflict, negative response, or bad feelings?
What did you discover?
3. ACT – Some practical, small actions you might take to make progress:
- Explore. If you think there is an underlying cause to your word choices, such as conflict avoidance or lack of confidence, you may benefit from coaching. Book a free 30 minute coaching call with Jess today!
- Plan an interruption. When you catch yourself using the word, use something like a rubber band around the wrist to snap yourself out of it. Reward yourself for your awareness.
- Enlist a friend. Ask a colleague to call you out when you use the word (s). Reward yourself for taking action.
- Set a small goal. Before your next meeting or presentation, set a personal goal to not use that word (s) and reward yourself for meeting that goal.
- Observe. Do steps in #1 again and track your progress. Reward yourself as you improve.
What small action will you take to make progress?
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