Influence Skills Series, Part 2: Thirteen Tips to Becoming a More Trustworthy Leader

In last week’s blog kicking off our Influence Skills series, we discussed how to become a better listener.

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What does trustworthiness look like?

The “Trusted Advisor Fieldbook” provides the following equation for what makes a person trustworthy:

From my own experience, I trust people who seem authentic. What I mean by authentic is: the degree to which people express themselves honestly and openly, and share a bit of their personal life, including their passions and interests, in the workplace. 

Sometimes we feel the need to separate our work and professional selves, but I think this can backfire if it means you are hiding the real you. Of course, there are professional boundaries we should always be cognizant of, but that doesn’t mean leaving your unique personality at the door.

Common challenges to building trust:

• Habit of exaggerating or leaving information out.
• Inability to follow through well, in a timely manner.
• Focusing too much on your own needs and wants.
• Inability to say “I don’t know.”
• Not using good evidence or social proof to back up your ideas.
• Failure to communicate relevant expertise where appropriate.
• Being too emotionally distant, not showing the care and openness needed for intimacy.
• Getting triggered and acting out.

A common challenge I see with mid-level leaders is that they think they need to have all the answers for their team and other stakeholders. But that is an impossible expectation given the complexity and ambiguity of today’s workplace. And it is not really their role. In fact, being honest about the inherent uncertainty in decision-making and problem solving, while articulating how to manage that uncertainty and potential downsides to decisions, is a great way to build trust. Moreover, asking the team to contribute to identifying ways to manage uncertainty empowers them individually and as a team.  Don’t you trust people more when they ask for your input and listen to you?

13 Practical Actions to Becoming More Trustworthy

1. Be on time and do what you say you’re going to do. If you’re going to miss a deadline, give notice.
2. Speak accurately and balance the information. Don’t highlight certain data or leave other information out just because it does not serve your cause.
3. Address the elephant in the room and speak the truth but….
4. Remember to separate facts from your perspectives or assumptions.
5. Allow others to say good things about your work, instead of you bragging about yourself.
6. Take a position, share your perspective, and make decisions with courage and confidence and…
7. Articulate the “why” and the rationale behind your points.
8. Be open and personable. Share things about yourself.
9. Routinely make and deliver on small commitments.
10.  Share useful resources, information, and connections.
11.  Focus on what others need and want in conversations and in collaboration.
12. Be curious and ask lots of questions.
13. Admit when you don’t know something.

Lately, my team and I have been working more deliberately to practice #7, articulating the “why” and rationale for our positions. We’re working across several functions and cultures to run programs that absolutely require collaboration to be successful. Sometimes, what seems perfectly reasonable to us makes no sense from other perspectives. By articulating our decision-making rationale, it’s easier for our partners to see where we went off the rails in our thinking, which facilitates a faster joint resolution. For more tips on growing your influence skills, download your free e-book here.