Carrie leads an important function at a global NGO. Her boss is a hard-driving go-getter, constantly generating new ideas, many of which end up on Carrie’s over-flowing plate. In Carrie’s opinion, some of what her boss wants her to do doesn’t make much sense. And her boss’s rapid-firing creativity creates a lot of chaos for Carrie and her team.
She knows her boss is well-intended but wants things to change. Her team is on the verge of revolting from the workload and she feels like she can never get to her strategic priorities. She wants to know: how can I change my boss’s behavior? How can I better manage up?
Here are a couple of tips. Many of these were adapted from Tom Henschel, Coaching for Leaders podcast Episode 433.
Tip #1: Think of your boss as your most important customer
At some point in your career, you’ve likely been in a situation like Carrie’s. In these circumstances, it’s natural to feel resentment towards your boss. However, it’s important to check your attitude and remember that your boss is your most important customer. You likely want them to perceive you as a great leader, and they are likely facing just as much pressure as you are. Try to understand their goals, objectives, and styles of communicating and working. Like you would with your best customer, try to say “yes” as much as possible and deliver on time, exceeding expectations. Remember: the customer is always right.
Tip #2: Tell them how you see things
If your boss tells you to do something that feels like it does not make sense or doesn’t work for you and your team, tell them. But: resist the temptation to argue. You, being closer to the front line, have a valid perspective to share. Your boss may have an important, strategic perspective you do not fully understand. Frame your pushback as “I see things a bit differently”. Then offer your perspective, as well as the rationale and evidence, to back it up. In Carrie’s situation, she could let her boss know about the strategic priorities that fall to the wayside when new projects are added.
Deliver your viewpoint with as little emotion as possible. Your goal here is to build a shared understanding. Listen more than you speak and try to understand their point of view.
Tip #3: Be a problem-solver, not a sh*t stirrer
No one likes a complainer, no matter how justified they might be. As issues arise, try to find alternative solutions to the problem before talking with your boss and make sure that those solutions take do not put more work on their plate. As a mid-level leader, you could even start acting on some of these solutions before talking with your boss. In Carrie’s case, she might consider sequencing the new requests coming to her in a way that works better with strategic priorities. Or she might identify outside contractors to hire to take on some of the workload. So when she raises the workload issue with her boss, she has already identified potential ways to resolve them. Her boss will see her as proactive and strategic, rather than a trouble-maker.
Tip #4: Address the business impact, not your boss’s behavior
It’s nearly impossible to change another person’s behavior. In the case of your boss— who has more positional power than you— forget about it. Instead, when your boss is displaying chronic behavior that creates negative impacts, think of it as a learning opportunity for both of you. Frame it to your boss as a business issue for which you want to brainstorm solutions. Demonstrating that you have common ground, shared goals, and are in this together is key to influencing from below.
Tell your boss what the business issue is that you are noticing and ask them for their help to resolve it. Ask questions from a genuine place of curiosity. Carrie might say “The team has got a pretty full plate now and I know you’ve got a lot of plans for us. I’m concerned we won’t be able to do all of this well and I’m already seeing signs of this now, despite our team’s best efforts. Can you tell us how you’d like us to prioritize stuff going forward?” Here, Carrie is observing what she’s seeing. She’s neither judging nor criticizing—she’s asking an open-ended question that is future-focused and solution-oriented.
Tip #5: Communicate strategically
For the mid-level and functional leader, strategic thinking is a core competency. You want your boss to see you as a powerful strategic thinker. For them to do so, approach them with just a few crisp, clear points on the challenge (and potential solutions). Shun the laundry list. Executive leaders want to see the big picture. Steer clear of the tactical weeds but be prepared to go there if your boss wants you to.
Half the skill of managing up is managing your own attitude and emotions. Be intentional about how you want your boss, and others, to perceive you. Keep in mind your boss is your most important customer. And raise challenges as business issues that you are ready to solve together.
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